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Archive for March, 2011

I’m on day 4 of my 5 day vacation in copper mountain Colorado. I did not know how important it was for me to get away…until I did.

When your surrounded by mountains you have to find a good sitting place and take some moments to reflect on life. Here is where my brain has gone…

– These mountains are so huge. I am so small. How do I fail to marvel at the beauty of creation so often? I want to be reminded of this beauty more. I want to be in awe more. I want to find wonder in my every day.

– I am so thankful for people who inspire me. People who speak life to you just by living. One of those people lives in Colorado and is insanely talented. Check out her some of her music…. http://theimperfect.bandcamp.com/.

– Saturday was the two year mark of my dads death. There is so much that is not right with this world. My dad not being here is not right. Life is not as it should be. The last two years I have had so many moments where death has won. Where I have faced the fact that death is not right and let that hold me under. Ive let it scare me. Ive let it confuse me. But, when I put myself away, when I begin to trust in the goodness of God, who made it all and holds it all together, I find myself drawn into whole new place, and there’s truly nothing sweeter. I begin to live in hope insted of in pain. I begin to trust that even though my dad is not hear the glory that continues to surface and the lives that continue to change because of his life and his death is is so much bigger then my loss.

– I was given a great gift this weekend. I got to be a witness to the marriage of one of my best friends. I got to be in the mountains, see a beautiful bride walk down the isle, and feel the amazing amount of love that was spilling out of Janae & Bryan. It’s funny to see the timeline of everything that has been rolling around in my head and to feel in a very tangible way that yes there will be pain in this life….but overall love prevails. Thanks j for showing me that.

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the world is ending?

This past weekend ranks pretty high in ‘fav weekends in 2011’. I’ve had some sweet events so far in 2011 to get on that list. Slumber Party in IC town, My little (pseudo) nephews 1st birthday, Janaes western themed bachelorette party, and of course random Kalamazoo weekend with the fam.

We did not do anything too exciting in kzoo this weekend besides hang with the fam and catch up with each other. But it was wonderful.

Sunday morning, Greg, Sarah and I had a really interesting discussion about the end of the world. Yes, I know what your thinking…another ‘light’ post.

Greg and Sarah are very knowledgable on current world events and we spoke about recent stories we had heard surrounding Libya, Egypt, & Japan. It is so overwhelming to be sharing and hearing about these stories that seem absolutely unreal. Our world really is going NUTS! So much unrest truly showing the good in people fighting through the tragedies..and the very bad.

Our conversation took an interpersonal turn and we started talking about what if the world is ending soon! What does that mean for us? Theologically we know that we know we shouldn’t want to stay on this earth because anything awaiting in heaven will be far greater than what we could ever imagine…but….

A part of me has a very real list of all the things I want to accomplish in this world. As I’m living this life there are things I want to go after. Does that make me a bad Christian? What is the balance between not finding this world ‘my home’ yet appreciating and running after the passions and desires I have? I want to find true love…have a family…publish a book….open a sensory filled orphanage….My brother ended the conversation in a very wise way, “well Kia…you better get on that list!”.

So….what is on your list? What do you want in life? What do you want to start working towards today?!?

Fill me in…I’m curious!

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Every Sunday I will attempt to share an excerpt from my work in progress…”You Can Hope”.

Feb 2010.

Mean girls….end of the movie main actress…hit by a bus.

Meet Joe Black…start of the movie sexy brad pitt…hit by a car after getting some coffee.

Michaja….walking to work…hit by a car.

What! That is not a part of my story! My story does not end by being hit by a car. Well, it is now a definite climatic scene! Yesterday I was one of those Chicago pedestrians that rolled onto the hood of a Honda turning left.

Parked my car. Grabbed my planner. Waited  for the ‘safe to walk ‘signal.  Saw the signal. Began walking. Hit. Roll. Hood. Ground.

I knew it was going to happen. Everything began to slow down, except for my body. She began turning, I began running. 

This woman in the Honda didn’t see the girl walking across the street in her blind spot. She began accelerating through her left turn. My body began to run, but my mind slowed down. I very clearly though three things….I’m about to die, GREG, MOM! Hit. Hood. Ground. Breathe.

Was I really just hit by a car? Am I really laying in the road? I’ve got to get out of the road!

People begin running from all directions towards me. The girl from the car is crying. I hear her say “I didn’t see her, I didn’t see her!” Someone else is shouting “call an ambulance! ” I just want to get to work! I’m late and now my jeans are muddy. I tell them all “I’m fine, don’t call an ambulance. I’m totally fine”. I get the womans information very calmly and tell her very sternly she needs to pay for dry cleaning for these jeans because I’m pissed about the mud. True Religion doesn’t run cheep! After that I head to my consult.

3 hours and two school consults later and I begin to reflect on my morning. I WAS HIT BY A CAR! Tears streaming, body in pain, what the heck just happened!

I made it to my clinic and was quickly sent home by everyone after we discovered my black and blue leg and arm. I can’t believe I was hit by a car. I can’t tell my mom. I can’t tell my brother. The two people who are still dealing with what cars do to families cannot hear that I was hit by a car. That I experienced a freak accident that could have easily been much worse than how it all played out.

What is the significance of this God!  What is the significance of these new emotions? Of these new images in my brain? Was I supposed to feel in my body what my dad felt? In those last few seconds was I supposed to know how quickly it felt. How I didn’t feel scared, I just felt a need for action. A need to run. He wasn’t sacred. He wasn’t in pain. Was I supposed to feel  in those split seconds how I could think about nothing else except my family. Was I supposed to know that my dad thought of me before he was gone. That even though I didn’t hear “ I love you” I know it was said.

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I still sit in shock when I think about the terrible tragedy that continues to affect Japan.

The stories that keep on rolling in are devastating. No sanitary water. Blackouts that are affecting the hospitals with critical patients. Displacement of thousands of people. Families still searching for their children. Unsafe conditions. NUCLEAR LEAKS. Unreal that this is all happening as I go about my daily life.

My typical pattern tends to lean towards avoidance. I would rather not turn on the TV and catch the overwhelming footage. I would rather not look at the clips that seem like they are scenes from a movie with incredible special effects.

I would rather avoid eye contact as I walk past the homeless person that lives on my corner as I get my Starbucks.  I can easily avoid looking at the statistics that in the city that I have made a home 20% of the population is in poverty.

There is brokeness everywhere! And honestly its scary to watch. There seems to be such an increase of insane disasters that are taking the lives of so many people. It’s scary because we don’t know how safe we are. Theres nothing we could do to stop the ground from shifting underneath us.

So, what can we do? I know all I can do is pray. Pray for the people of Japan. Pray that God moves through our world. Bringing peace and hope to people who are facing extreme tragedy and grief right now. And give, if you can, to organizations that are saving the world. Medical Teams International is one group that is doing pretty amazing work (http://www.medicalteams.org/sf/Home.aspx). Along with old fav’s Red Cross, Salvation Army, and World Vision.

I also know that I need my eyes opened to not avoid the tragedy that is happening all across the world, but also within my 5 mile bubble.

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Spring is here~

I love spring.

There are so many things to love. The amount of vitamin D that my body can finally begin to take in regularly. The robins that start chirping everywhere. The awesome new outfits with layers you can wear sans winter coats. The ability to leave work after 7 and have it not be dark. So many wonderful reasons to love spring.  Overall favorite reason spring is the best season…March Madness!!!

I am hooked and believe that I can pick a pretty good bracket. I’ve been known to bring in some cash around this time…

My votes are in…final 4: North Carolina(Beat Ohio State!), Texas (the big upset!), Kansas (the big WINNER), and Pittsburgh.

Agree? Disagree? Anyone want to take me up on some of these bets???

Two years ago I walked away with $200 bucks in my pocket….the year before that I was owing a lot of money! Yikes. Bad memories!

I think this is going to be another year I’ll be in the green…

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Chandler…

While I was sick this weekend, my medicine was watching Friends. Rachel has always been my favorite because I want to be her (even though I secretly know I am pheobe…). But, this just in…after spending alot of time with the ‘gang’, Chandler has jumped to the number 1 spot!

Heres a little taste for your Tuesday afternoon!

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Every Sunday I will attempt to share an excerpt from my work in progress…”You Can Hope”. You may think the last few excerpts have had a theme of ‘birthday’. Well your right. The reason, I’m not sure. Maybe it’s because I have a complex around the month of March or maybe it’s because its a big premise of the book. You decide.

I really wish I could have had a sneak peek into what was happening in my friends minds on March 31st, 2009. Here are four of my best friends…..with their best friend on her birthday. Previously I had taken birthdays on as a week-long holiday…for everyone who is involved. I’m fairly convinced the world has stopped moving on my birthday. These parties have  been a sight to behold…and have somehow always involved costumes.

 It all started in first grade when I had an around the world party. The beginning of the magical world of themes for little kia…

Everyone invited to the party had to come in costume dressed as if they were from their favorite country. What else would you do for a 6 year olds party! We went from Switzerland to Russia to Japan. I distinctly remember at that moment understanding that being in costume was the only way to celebrate.  My parents had no clue they were raising a future Lady Gaga want to be.

Fast forward to college years….this is when the birthday party planning baton leaves your moms hands…leaves your friends hands…and lands directly in mine. My birthday parties quickly left the party stage and moved into plooza stage…michajaplooza if you will. We had 5 michajaploozas and counting…. The themes ranged from the classic 80’s night to superhero, rockstars to Alias. Michajaplooza 6 was going to be a big one, I mean 25 that’s a big birthday. Especially when it involves Downtown Chicago. So far 80’s night had only been part of College …it had yet to experience the windy city. The guest list was out, the bar was rented, the costume were created…now the 31st just had to get here so we could bring michajaplooza into EPIC proportions.

Interruption the worst day.

Now, what goes on in these friends minds. These friends who had been involved in every Michajaplooza in the past. Who knows how I start planning the next michajaplooza, the day after the last one ends.  Here they are with their friend on her birthday. Here they are watching her mindlessly drink her coffee. Mindlessly tune into what is happening in the world around her. What do they do. Do they acknowledge that she is now one year older. The fateful of day of turning 25 is finally here. Or do they not say anything. Do they not acknowledge that five days ago her dad was taken away from her in a car accident. That her dad who was always the first one to wish his daughter a happy birthday will not say anything to her today.

 What do they do with a 25-year-old who is searching for her dads will.

A 25-year-old that is writing out what should go on her dads gravestone.

A 25-year-old answering the door for another set of flowers.

What do they do? They panic.

And then, they figure out what this 25-year-old hasn’t yet….their friend is still there. Their friend is still living. Their friend is lost. Their friend is searching for hope. Their friend needs them. So they sit with her. Sit and laugh at a horrible movie. Watch Friends episodes on repeat. Talk to her even when she’s not responding. Act like they aren’t worried about her when they are. Love her mom for her.

They know it’s still me…even when I didn’t know who I was.

Thank God.

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